Extending the Lesson - WEEK 4

Let's review our choices when we are faced with conflict:
We can choose to ESCAPE. (Run from confrontation, blame others or circumstances, or simply deny that there is a problem.) These choices rarely resolve conflicts or build stronger relationships and are usually considered bad choices.

We can choose to ATTACK. (Use insults or put-downs, gossip, or fight.) These choices actually make conflict worse and are usually considered bad choices.

We can choose to WORK-IT-OUT. (Overlook, talk it through, or get help.) These are the choices that please God and usually speed up the problem-solving and reconciliation process. They are good choices.

Again, let's think back to our story about Tony and his mom.
Cover the green words below and answer these questions:
1. What kind of choices did Tony make?
2. What were the choices he made?
3. What good choices could Tony have made instead?

Let's admit that Tony made bad choices. He chose to argue with his mother, stomp out of the room, and slam the door. Perhaps he could have listened better and realized how his mom cared for his safety. He could have respectfully expressed his disappointment without being disobedient about cancelling the movie premier. Then he could have called his friend Eric to nicely explain it all to him.

Tony was in conflict with his mother because of his bad choices that came from his selfish heart. The Bible says that children are to honor their father and mother (Exodus 20:12). Tony chose to disobey his commandment by speaking and acting disrespectfully toward his mother. Disobeying God's Word is always serious. 

Now cover the blue words below and answers these questions:
1. Did Tony's mother make him choose to argue or slam the door?
2. Did Tony's mother contribute to this conflict in any way?

No one made Tony respond as he did. Each person involved in a conflict makes his or her own choices as to how he or she will respond to the situation. However, Tony's mom spoke disrespectfully to him when she screamed at him. She needs to consider her example to Tony and ask the Lord to help her to change the ways she handles anger or conflict. 

RESISTING SELFISH DESIRES
Even though Tony had a strong, selfish desire to go to the movie that afternoon, he did not have to make sinful choices to argue with his mother, stomp away, and slam the door. He did not have to let his desires control him. We all act like tony sometimes, We want our own way and we make selfish choices to get it.

Now think about the answers to these questions:
1. What choices do you make to get what you want?
2. What other choices could you make instead that would be better?
Points to remember:
  • Your choices are deliberate.
  • Your choices are your fault.
  • You are one-hundred-percent responsible for your own choices!
  • You will make good or bad choices depending on what is in your heart. 
Listen to these "Good Reasons for Conflict." Be prepared to take notes in your spiral. Choose the LISTEN IN BROWSER option.

Choose one or two of these activities to follow-up this week's lesson.

1. Write a story about a conflict you read about in a book or saw on TV.
  • Tell how the fight began.
  • Identify the root cause of the conflict.
  • Explain what choices each person made to cause the conflict.
  • What lessons can each person learn from being in this conflict?
  • What respectful choices could have prevented this conflict?
  • Illustrate your story.
  • Be prepared to read your story out loud to an audience.
2. Draw a picture or a cartoon strip of two people having a conflict.
3. With your parents, make a list of good things that God could be teaching your through conflict. Write a personal prayer about the conflict.
4. Have the students work in a group to develop a puppet play about conflict. Use stuffed animals for the characters or make your own from paper and popsicle sticks.
5. Role Play Activity: Choose a number of students to act out examples of good choices Tony could have made in this situation. (C. Sande, p.46)

Sande, Corlette. The Young Peace Maker Teaching Students to Respond to Conflict God’s Way, Illustrated by Russ Flint, Wapwallopen, PA 18660, Shepherd Press, 1997.

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