My-Way vs. Wise-Way Choices WEEK 6 - PART 2
To modify this lesson for non-readers and younger students, have them color pages 4-3 and 4-4 in the workbook as they listen to this lesson with the older children.
The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways. Proverbs 14:8
Do you know what that word "prudent" means? (When we see words we don't know, we should take steps to learn what they mean.) The verb, prudent, is the ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason or to show skill and good judgment. In our Bible verse above, the word prudent is used as a noun describing people who act wisely. So "prudent" can be an action word or it can be a person's character trait. Later you will copy this definition into your glossary.
Making Choices
Now let's explore two ways to make choices. We studied these at the end of our last lesson. One way usually leads to trouble, while the other way helps to solve problems.
- The "my-way" approach is where I make choices that will only please and satisfy myself.
- The "wise-way" approach is where I make choices that will please and honor the Lord.
You have a SINFUL (SELFISH) DESIRE
that leads to a BAD CHOICE
and results in a BAD CONSEQUENCE
and BAD FEELINGS
Take a look at Carlos' choice:
Desire: "I want to play basketball with Matt this morning! Why did Dad have to remind me that I have to mow the dumb lawn anyway? I don't want to do it today! I hate that job! I which I never had to do it!"
Choice: "It's too late to mow the lawn today anyway. I'll just pretend I didn't see the note. Maybe I'll get to it later."
Consequences: If Carlos goes to play basketball without mowing he will probably be disciplined when he gets home. And he will still have to mow the lawn. He may lose the privilege of going to the gym for a couple weeks. His parents will lose confidence and trust in him. They might put more limits on his time. His guilty conscience will keep him from enjoying the basketball game with Matt.
Feelings: Carlos will feel angry, frustrated, and disappointed because of his consequences. He may also feel guilty, and while he is playing basketball he will be constantly thinking of excuses for not mowing the lawn. Because he fears his dad's response to this disobedience, he will not enjoy the game.
If this becomes a habit with Carlos, he will probably reap bad consequences and feelings as a steady diet. All of us have felt like Carlos at times.
Now let's look at the other way to make choices.
Instead of giving in to your
feelings and selfish desires,
you can ask Jesus to help you
make choices that will please Him
and prevent conflict.
When you choose the Wise-way approach, you will first confess your sinful desires and feelings to the Lord and ask Him for help so that your desire and your choice will please Him. Your response will be more like this:
You confess your desire
and pray for a DESIRE TO PLEASE GOD,
which leads to a GOOD CHOICE
and results in a GOOD CONSEQUENCE
and GOOD FEELINGS.
God empowers His children to use this approach when making choices. It leads to making wise choices more often. If Carlos would use this approach, something like this might happen:
Sinful Desire: "Lord Jesus, please forgive me for being so selfish. I always want my own way and it only gets me into trouble. Please give me a willing heart to do what is right."
Godly Desire: "Dad reminded me to mow the lawn before I go to the gym to play basketball today. It is my own fault that I did not mow it yesterday. I sure don't want to mow it today. But I know that I'll please the Lord and Dad if I obey now, so that makes it worthwhile."
Choice: I need to accept responsibility for the choice I made not to mow the lawn yesterday. I am just going to have to do it now. I know that this will disappoint Matt, and I will need to ask his forgiveness for ruining our plans. I just won't be able to play basketball this morning unless Matt will be willing to wait until I'm done mowing."
Consequences: Carlos may be praised and thanked for doing a good job. He won't have to mow the lawn later. He will still get to play basketball if Matt is willing to leave later. He would have 1) confidence in his decision, 2) a clear conscience, 3) earned his parent's respect and trust. Carlos' parents might reward him in unexpected ways.
Feelings: Although Carlos will probably feel upset with himself for not mowing the lawn when he should have, he will feel confident that he made the right choice to get the job done before he went to the gym with Matt. If Matt is willing to leave later, Carlos will feel excited about getting to play basketball, and he will be glad that he has a clear conscience. He will feel proud that he pleased his father by doing such a good job on the lawn. He will feel relieved that he made a choice that he knew would please the Lord instead of himself. (C. Sande, pp. 65-66.)
Like Carlos, if you use the wise-way approach, you can experience the freedom, trust, confidence, and clear conscience that comes when you make good choices.
Open your spiral notebook to the glossary.
1. In your glossary, copy the word "prudent" and the definition provided at the beginning of this lesson
2. On the next clean page of your spiral, copy your Bible verse. Say it several times to get used to saying the word "prudent." Be sure to put your NAME and DATE on the page.
3. Can you remember a time when someone upset your plans, hurt you, or didn't let you have your own way? Write about it in your spiral, or draw a picture.
4. Write a short story (or draw it out) about someone you admire who is an example of any of the following godly traits: humility, patience, prudence, obedience, or trustworthiness.
Perhaps you can remember this person's good example the next time you have a tough choice to make.
Sande, Corlette. The Young Peace
Maker Teaching Students to Respond to Conflict God’s Way, Illustrated by
Russ Flint, Wapwallopen, PA 18660, Shepherd Press, 1997.
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