The 5As of Resolving Conflict WEEK 9 - Part 1

 How are you doing?
Are you understanding our lessons? Do you feel a bit overwhelmed? Yes, there are many "working parts" to these lessons. and the learning can be difficult at times.
I want to encourage you not to give up or to slack off. Stick with the program, continue your study with diligence, and you will be well prepared to face the conflicts you will experience all during your life.
Take this to heart: you are learning many tools that will help you throughout your life no matter what your age. These truths you are learning will always be relevant and useful.
And so many people get confused, side-tracked, and downright derailed when they have to face conflict.
But that won't be you!
Although you won't escape facing conflict, no one does, you will be equipped to deal positively with whatever comes your way. Remember last week's focus: conflict is an opportunity to please God, grow and help others. And you are already doing all those things and more. Good on you!!!
Now, let's have a quick review of what we covered in Week 8.
Cover the blue words below and check your answers after you have had time to discuss your answers to these review questions.
1. What are the three opportunities in every conflict situation?
2. How can you glorify God in conflict?
3. How can you serve others in conflict?
4. How can you grow to be more like Jesus when you are in a conflict?

This week's story has two girls playing the Blame Game. Look at Workbook page 7-2 as you listen. Choose the LISTEN IN BROWSER option.
Can you identify the choices that Nikki and Connie made to create this conflict?
  • Connie made fun of Nikki about her softball performance.
  • Nikki ridiculed Connie about her low grades in spelling.
  • The girls stopped speaking to each other. 
What do you think is at the root of this conflict? (Look back in your notebook the to roots and fruits pages to help you answer.)
  • Each girl's pride was hurt.
  • Both of them were afraid of what others might think of them.
  • Both wanted approval not criticism. (They were defensive instead of being willing to learn to improve.)
  • Neither of them wanted to take responsibility for their own poor performance in baseball or spelling. (Taking responsibility correctly would show a humble heart willing to admit mistakes and weaknesses.)
What does it mean to "resolve a conflict"?
  • To find an answer to the problem.
  • To settle the conflict.
  • To be friends again without holding a grudge. 
 As we've already seen, it's not easy to resolve a conflict. We often play the blame game, which makes conflicts worse. This week we will look at something that is just the opposite of the blame game. It's called the 5As. The 5As can resolve conflict and help you bring glory to God.
To appropriately respond to conflict, a way that pleases God, you need to apply His principles of repentance, confession, and forgiveness. Let me define those terms for you.
Copy these new definitions and Bible verse into the glossary section of your notebook.
1. Repentance: You understand that you have made a sinful choice; you are willing to take responsibility for it; and you have a desire in your heart to change.
2. Confession: You admit openly and honestly to the Lord and to all the people you have hurt or offended that you know your choice was sinful and wrong.
3. Forgiveness: You make a promise not to hold a person's sins against him or her. In other words, you forgive as God forgives you. (C. Sande, p. 103)
4. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." I John 1:9
In our next lesson we will begin to study the 5As for resolving conflict.
Sande, Corlette. The Young Peace Maker Teaching Students to Respond to Conflict God’s Way, Illustrated by Russ Flint, Wapwallopen, PA 18660, Shepherd Press, 1997.

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