The Freedom of Forgiveness WEEK 10 - PART 1

Here is a slice of Christian history for your consideration:

A dove with an olive branch had become established as a Christian symbol of peace by the 5th century, and St Augustine wrote in On Christian Doctrine that, "perpetual peace is indicated by the olive branch which the dove brought with it when it returned to the ark." [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olive_branch]

But in order to have peace that lasts forever, there must be forgiveness.

There are many common idioms for forgiveness. Some of these are:

Let-bygones-be-bygones, kiss and make-up, give or receive the olive branch, bear no malice, wipe the slate clean, make-peace, smoke the peace pipe, and ready to make nice.

This is a very important lesson in our Caring Responses blog! 

No matter how you say it, forgiveness is the heartbeat of conflict resolution. Without it you don't have conflict resolution. Jesus wasn't kidding around when He said in Matthew, "Go and be reconciled!" He means that we are to seek and give forgiveness so that our relationships can be restored. Since we have been completely forgiven in Christ, we should be the most forgiving people in the world. We are to forgive just as the Lord forgives us! (C. Sande, pp. 114-5.)

With that in mind, let's begin with prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank you that you are generous with your grace and that you never refuse my earnest request for forgiveness. I am so grateful that you don't keep a record of my wrongs. I confess that I often don't want to forgive others with the same generosity you show me. Please help me to have a compassionate heart so that I am eager to forgive and move on to full reconciliation with those who have done me wrong. In the same way, help me to quickly seek forgiveness with a contrite heart and work to restore any brokenness I have caused in my relationships. In Jesus' name, Amen.

 This week's Bible verse may be one with which you are already familiar:

Be kind and compassionate to one another,

forgiving each other,

just as in Christ God forgave you.  

Ephesians 4:32

In the way of review and just to be clear, forgiveness is NOT the first step to conflict resolution, is it?

Do you remember the 5As Song? Can you list the five As in order?

If you said, "Admit, Apologize, Accept, Ask, Alter," that's right!

Hey wait! Where is forgiveness in the 5As? Did you see it? Yep, it is number four!!! Ask! Which means ask for forgiveness.

That means in conflict resolution several things must happen before forgiveness comes into play. But I can't stress enough that FORGIVENESS is the key to a restored relationship. Without this important key there is no resolution and no lasting restoration.

Listen to our story for this week about two brothers named Leroy and Russell. Look at your Workbook page 8-2 and color the picture as you listen to the story. Be sure to click the "Listen in Browser" option.

What choices did Russell make that caused this conflict? (He left in the boat without Leroy and he stood up while casting even though his brother told him not to.)

How could Russell take responsibility for his wrong choices? (Use the 5As.)

Now lets' pause briefly to discuss what forgiveness is NOT!!

People think about forgiveness in many ways (like the list at the top of this post). Unfortunately, some of these ways are not consistent with what the Bible says about forgiveness. In order to understand the truth about forgiveness we first need to recognize these false ideas. You'll find these falsehoods on pages 8-3 and 8-4 of your workbooks. (C. Sande, p. 116.)

Olivia, read the large-print words under "False Idea 1." Now discuss with the group how someone naturally feels when they have been wronged.

Caleb, read the large-print words under "False Idea 2." Let's think about the last time you were wronged. Have you forgotten? Clearly not!

Joshua, read the large-print words under "False Idea 3." Often we want the person that wronged us to "get what's coming!" And we withhold forgiveness thinking it will accomplish this vengeful wish. But in truth, we are hurting ourselves by hanging on to unforgiveness and we are taking over God's job of dispensing justice as He sees fit.

Mom, please read the last false idea. This is probably the most damaging of the four false ideas. When we demand a guarantee we are actually showing not only our lack of forgiveness, but also lack of love. Imagine if Jesus demanded a guarantee from you before forgiving you. Thankfully, He has no limit to His love and forgiveness.


Here is a catchy rhyme to help us with our next lesson. 

1. Copy it into your notebook on the next clean page.


GOOD THOUGHT

HURT YOU NOT

GOSSIP NEVER

FRIENDS FOREVER

2. Write down the 5As in your notebook, too, just for practice.

Stay tuned for our next lesson.


Sande, Corlette. The Young Peace Maker Teaching Students to Respond to Conflict God’s Way, Illustrated by Russ Flint, Wapwallopen, PA 18660, Shepherd Press, 1997.


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