Extending the Lesson WEEK 13

 

We learned in this lesson that respectful communication is more likely to be heard, and the communication pie is a tool that can help you communicate respectfully. When you choose to use respectful words, tone of voice, and nonverbal body language to send messages, you will be taking responsibility to help prevent or resolve conflict between you and others. Remember, you can choose to communicate respectfully no matter what anyone else does! The Lord is clear in his Word that he values communication that builds up and benefits the listener. In addition, the Lord says that we are to be "quick to listen." Respectful listening demonstrates that you are trying to understand the other person's point of view, even if you don't agree with it.

Respectful communication is wise, it glorifies God, and it will help you stay on top of the slippery slope. What could be better?

THE BEST TIME AND PLACE

Most communication is relaxed and easy, but there are some things that may require that you plan when and where you will communicate. For example, if you want to ask permission to do something important or confront someone about a problem, it would not be wise to do it in front of others or when the person is heading out of the door, or when that person is in the middle of doing something. At times like these, people may not be able to concentrate on what you are saying. Instead, choose a time when the person is not busy doing other things, or ask if there would be a good time to talk with him or her, so that you will have time to talk thoroughly about he situation. It is usually best to talk about serious things in private.

Once a good time and place have been selected, plan how to use the communication pie to help you to communicated respectfully. You may be pleased to discover that others may listen to you and take you more seriously, Remember that the way you communicate with others will often determine how they will communicated with you.  

Always keep in mind that God wants your verbal and nonverbal communication to be helpful, to build others up, and to benefit your listeners. I encourage you to evaluate the way you communicate with others by using the communication pie. Ask the Lord to help you make necessary changes so that what you say and how you say it glorifies him and strengthens you relationships with others. (C. Sande, p. 164-5.)


1. Let's say that a friend begins to yell at you, call you names, and glare at you. It happens repeatedly and you don't know why your friend is treating you this way. Talk through what you could do the resolve this situation. (First, you could get help to plan how to confront your friend in a respectful way. Then choose the best time and place to talk with the person about his or her communication choices.)

2. What could you say to a friend who continually speaks disrespectfully to you? ("I'd like to talk with you about something that is affecting our friendship. Is this a good time for us to talk?)

3. What are they saying? (Look at Workbook 11-9): Look at the body language the three separate situations. Write their conversation in the balloons.

4. Taste the Pie: (Look at Workbook 11-10): Read each story and indicate whether the people used the ingredients for a good pie or a rotten pie.

5. In your notebook on the next clean page draw a picture showing yourself using the communication pie to communicate respectfully with another person. Write a brief explanation of what is happening in your picture.

6. Design a poster or a banner with the communication pie on it.

7. Divide the class into small groups. Have each group develop a five-minute role play that shows the characters using the communication pie to communicate respectfully or disrespectfully. Give the students an opportunity to act our their roll plays. Then have the class evaluate the communication skills they observed in the role play.

8. Help the students analyze these conflict situations from the Bible.

  • I Samuel 25:1-35. Abigail confronts David
  • Daniel 1:1-16. Daniel requests a more healthy diet
  • Acts 26:1-3. Paul speaks to King Agrippa

Sande, Corlette. The Young Peace Maker Teaching Students to Respond to Conflict God’s Way, Illustrated by Russ Flint, Wapwallopen, PA 18660, Shepherd Press, 1997.

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