Making a Respectful Appeal WEEK 14 - Part 3

Throughout our study we have been focusing on ways we can prevent or at least reduce the amount of conflict we face. We have learned a great many things including several tools to help us handle conflict in a way that pleases God. After all, it is God who sees what is in our hearts. He knows if we are being honest, respectful, and sincere in what we do and say. 

When we make an appeal, first and foremost we must have the right motives in our heart. We cannot make a proper appeal from selfishness or dishonesty. That is why it is so important to be humble in your heart. Humility is not a character quality that all people exhibit. In fact, one can only be truly humble with God's help because our human condition keeps us puffed up and proud in direct opposition to God. 

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

1 Peter 5:5

If you want God's grace, appeal to Him for it! Like this, "I know I often think more of myself than I should. Would you help me, Dear God, stop being puffed up and proud? Would you give me a humble heart?" 

If you ask sincerely, then you will surely have your appeal granted.

A SERIOUS APPEAL MADE OUT OF CONCERN

Look at Workbook p. 12-8. This is the fifth situation and probably the most serious time when an appeal from you is required. When our friends or our family have planned something that breaks the rules, or something that could put themselves, and perhaps others, in danger, we must go to them with a heartfelt appeal to turn away from a bad choice and do the right thing instead. 

Keep in mind we are not responsible for the choices our friend or family member makes, but ours could be the voice of reason that keeps him or her from making a wrong choice, a choice that could have long-lasting negative consequences.

This example and the ones we covered in our last lesson are only five situations when it is appropriate to use an appeal. There will be many times in your life when making an appeal will help others to listen to you, consider your request, and perhaps keep them from many kinds of trouble.

1. Read through the top of Workbook p. 12-8. Discuss the importance of being sincere as well as humble as you make your appeal to your friend or family member.

2, Imagine if the situation was reversed. Role Play having someone come to you with a appeal to try to prevent you from making a wrong choice. What would your response be?

3. Let's pray the closing prayer together on the bottom of Workbook p. 12-8.

Dear Lord, 

I am glad that I have learned about a way to appeal to people so that they will listen to me more often. Sometimes I feel frustrated when people don't consider my thoughts, feelings, needs, or desires. I confess that sometimes I don't communicate them in a respectful way. Please forgive me for being demanding and disrespectful. Help me to use the STAR Appeal to make an appeal when I need to. Please help me to communicate so others will listen to me. Thank you for giving me the strength to do what is right. In Jesus' Name, Amen. (C. Sande, p. 179.)


Sande, Corlette. The Young Peace Maker Teaching Students to Respond to Conflict God’s Way, Illustrated by Russ Flint, Wapwallopen, PA 18660, Shepherd Press, 1997.

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