The Communication Pie WEEK 13 - PART 1

 Here are some review questions for you. Cover the blue words below. Answer the questions and then check your answers.

1. What does it mean to communicate?

2. What are some ways people communicate?

3. That is the difference between verbal and nonverbal communication? Can you give some examples?

4. What do we communicate?

5. Why do we communicate?


Our Bible verse for this chapter is a familiar one. You may already have it memorized:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 

 Ephesians 4:29


Lets pray: "Dear Lord, forgive me when I let my emotions dictate how I communicate with others. Help me, Lord, to remember that respectful communication pleases you. Strengthen me to say and do what I know I should in order to avoid conflicts that dishonor You. Thank You, Lord, that You are near me and that You want to help me. In Jesus name, Amen.


WHAT and HOW you say things affects the 
SUCCESS of your communication.

Let's check in with Carlos and his dad again. Their relationship is still experiencing conflict. Follow along with the cartoon version in your Workbook page 11-2 .

WeckTech · Carlos and Dad - More Canoe Blues

How did Carlos choose to communicate? (Disrespectfully.)

Unfortunately, many people are like Carlos; they either blow up or clam up. Both ways of communicating are disrespectful and ineffective. Most people will not listen to or even try to understand a person who is pouting or throwing a temper tantrum.

Everyone needs to learn how to communicate in a respectful way so that God will be pleased and other people will listen. (C. Sande, pp. 156-7.)


THE COMMUNICATION PIE

In this chapter we will learn how to use a tool that can help improve your communication skills and prevent conflict. This tool is called the communication pie. If you choose to use this tool, you may be surprised at how often people listen and respond to you respectfully.

The communication pie consists of four pieces. Two pieces of the communication pie involve verbal communication: words and tone of voice. The other two sections of the communication pie involve nonverbal communication: body language and listening skills.

Using respectful words is very important when you want someone to listen to you. Many people have developed the habit of using words to:

Do you find yourself struggling with some of these habits? If you do, you probably feel frustrated quite often because people don't seem to listen to you. Even if they do listen, they may respond in an angry way to what you have said. You probably feel like giving up sometimes. Well, don't give up because here is some good news!

GOOD NEWS!

Using disrespectful words is a choice, and remember, choices can change! You can choose to use different words--respectful words--to communicate. Respectful words "Build others up according to their needs" (Ephesians 4:29). They are truthful, clear, and encouraging. Even when they are used to confront, respectful words will promote healing and help people to grow.  

The second piece of pie related to verbal communication is using a respectful tone of voice. If you want to be heard and understood, then you also need to be aware of how your tone of voice might sound to people. When you use a respectful and pleasant tone of voice as you would in a normal conversation, most people will listen to what you have to say. However, if you communicate with a wrong, sinful tone of voice that is argumentative, harsh, or disrespectful, you will probably find most people unwilling to hear you out. In addition, you may find yourself in trouble for communicating disrespectfully.(C. Sande, p. 159.)

1. Open to the next clean page in your notebook. Put your name and date on the upper right hand corner.

2. Copy three verses into your notebook. First, your Bible memory verse found at the top of this blog entry. Also copy Proverbs 16:24 into your notebook: "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." And finally, copy Proverbs 15:1, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

3. Read through Workbook page 11-4 aloud with your group. And discuss the following questions: Which comes more easily for you to say, a harsh word or a pleasant word? If you want to say a harsh word, how difficult is it to make a better choice? Which kind of attitude would help you make a better choice? An attitude of humility, or an attitude of self-importance? Which attitude did Jesus show?


Sande, Corlette. The Young Peace Maker Teaching Students to Respond to Conflict God’s Way, Illustrated by Russ Flint, Wapwallopen, PA 18660, Shepherd Press, 1997.


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